<\/p>\n
Maria Musgrove-Wethey is Director of The Pantiles Bride & Go Bridal, Tunbridge Wells, UK.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Competition, cash flow, cancelled weddings, computer crashes, rent reviews, negative social media reviews, indecisive brides, obnoxious mothers, know it all newly wed bridesmaid, gay \u201cBestie\u201d who thinks he\u2019s Randy Fenoli and won\u2019t allow the bride to say \u201cYes to the dress\u201d until he\u2019s given his blessing!\u00a0 All this and it\u2019s not even fittings season!!<\/p>\n
When we hit our Summer season the challenges of being a business owner increase with late deliveries, incorrect dresses arriving, quality control issues, a groaning alterations rail and that\u2019s without the constant communication from brides 24\/7 via phone, e-mail, text, Facebook messenger and all other channels in our constantly \u201con\u201d digital world.<\/p>\n
My daughter is a swimmer and her favourite quote is \u201cIf you think your sport is hard try doing it while holding your breath\u201d. The bridal equivalent could be \u201cIf you think your customer is hard try dealing with a hormonal, yo-yo weight bride and her bullying best friend with a made to measure gown that has zero seam allowance\u201d.\u00a0 Not quite as catchy as the swimming quote but equally true.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not surprising that we turn to the gin, phone a friend or rant on our closed Facebook groups to other bridal retailers! So how do we manage brides (and ourselves and our team) during the Summer season when tempers inside our boutique are rising higher than the sizzling temperature outside.<\/p>\n
MEN, WOMEN AND BRIDES!<\/strong><\/p>\n
When I opened my shop in 1997 I had been working for an international training company with household names as clients, living in five star hotels and a huge support team. I presented to audiences of hundreds and they listened and valued my expertise and I was paid handsomely for this! \u00a0When I opened my first shop I had a huge culture shock and couldn\u2019t believe how demanding brides were.\u00a0 One of my team shared these pearls of wisdom \u201cRemember there are three types of human being \u201cMen, Women and Brides!\u201d<\/p>\n
When the going gets tough (and brides are even tougher and more demanding 20 years on) I remember that even the most rational, professional, calm woman can morph into either an emotional wreck or the most diva of bridezillas.\u00a0 And it\u2019s part of our role to be not only her bridal stylist but counsellor, mediator, personal trainer, dietitian, hair stylist, travel advisor \u2013 the list is endless!<\/p>\n
Confession time \u2013 when I\u2019ve got the scent of a sale I can keep up the mask but when it\u2019s fittings time I find it much harder. If you need ways to survive the season then read on for my top tips enriched with some quotable quotes.<\/p>\n
KNOWING YOURSELF IS THE BEGINNING OF ALL WISDOM \u2013ARISTOLE<\/strong><\/p>\n
Or the more contemporary equivalent is the Abba song KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU (topical with the new “Mamma Mia Here We Go Again” movie just having been released). \u00a0They say that patience is a virtue and I know that this is something I don\u2019t have!<\/p>\n
I get impatient waiting for my computer to turn on and for the traffic lights to go green!\u00a0 After over 2 decades in bridal and 6 shops later I know that I simply don\u2019t have the patience to be around brides at fittings when they\u2019re obsessing about \u201cto wear a veil or not wear a veil\u201d.<\/p>\n
Luckily my manager has the patience of Job and banishes me from the shop floor, otherwise she has to manage both me and her bride and the \u201cbridal tribe\u201d.\u00a0 All this as well as being nanny and children\u2019s entertainer to the increasing number of babies and toddlers that accompany the bride to her fitting. Work out what situations\/types of people drain you of energy and what brings you alive.\u00a0 If you have the choice, do more of what you love and delegate to others in your team what brings you down.\u00a0 If you have a small team or no team then at least recognise the situations which may be challenging for you.<\/p>\n
PATIENCE IS NOT THE ABILITY TO WAIT BUT THE ABILITY TO KEEP A GOOD ATTITUDE WHILE WAITING JOYCE MEYER.<\/strong><\/p>\n
Now that is easier said than done!! My solution NLP \u2013 Neuro-linguistic Programming<\/strong>.\u00a0 Despite the intellectual-sounding name, is a set of practical tools that you can use in everyday situations to gain better understanding of other people, manage your own frustrations and use your insight to get the results you want with the people around you.\u00a0 You can think of it as Practical Psychology.<\/p>\n
As a Master Practitioner of NLP I find that one of the simplest tools is the most effective and is called Anchoring, and is done by pairing physical touch with a feeling or behaviour you want to have at your disposal.<\/p>\n
The most common use of NLP anchoring is to have a way to intentionally feel resourceful in the right situations. In my situation I want to have more patience with a bride on fittings day.\u00a0 An NLP anchor can grant access to the patience I have in other situations that is not currently available to you when it\u2019s \u201cfittings day\u201d.<\/p>\n
Try this experiment with NLP anchoring.<\/p>\n
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- Determine how you want to feel. Say, more\u00a0patient<\/em>.<\/li>\n
- Remember a time when you felt\u00a0really patient<\/strong>. It can be any memory when you were feeling patient, under any circumstances \u2013 not necessarily bridal related.<\/li>\n
- Choose an anchor device that involves touch, such as touching your thumb and forefinger together or making a fist.<\/li>\n
- Remember what you saw, heard and felt in your patient memory. You must put yourself inside the memory as if reliving it.\u00a0Don\u2019t view the memory from a distance;<\/strong>the feelings won\u2019t come back. You\u2019ve got to \u2018be there\u2019 again.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
Relive the memory until you begin to feel the patience coming over you in the same way you felt it at the time. As you feel that patience coming on, activate your anchoring device from step #3.<\/p>\n
For example, touch your thumb and forefinger together as the patient feeling increases. Release your thumb and forefinger when the feeling begins to subside. If you\u2019ve done this well and there\u2019s no underlying reason you shouldn\u2019t feel more patient, this anchor set!<\/p>\n
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- Test the anchor by touching your thumb and forefinger together\u00a0in exactly the same way<\/em>again and find out if you naturally access that patient state. Of course, don\u2019t be sceptical and resist the anchor. Allow it to happen.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
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I FAILED MY WAY TO SUCCESS \u2013 THOMAS EDISON.<\/strong><\/p>\n
If mistakes are made how do you deal with them?\u00a0 Do you make your staff pay? This could be financially (I\u2019ve seen contracts\u00a0 stating that deductions will be made from salary!) or do you berate and belittle them which doesn\u2019t help morale.\u00a0 Thomas Edison had 10000 failed attempts at creating the lightbulb before he met with success.\u00a0 He is determination personified.\u00a0 Of his first attempts he said \u201cI haven\u2019t failed.\u00a0 I\u2019ve just found 10000 ways that won\u2019t work!\u201d\u00a0 I am no Edison but I when things go wrong we collectively try to learn and see a negative situation as an opportunity.<\/p>\n
LIFE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR MINDSET \u2013 ANON<\/strong>.<\/p>\n
I believe that the more positive you are, the more you will succeed. Napoleon Hill in his book, “Think and Grow Rich” identifies the common behaviours shared by the world\u2019s leading entrepreneurs and suggests that our attitudes and beliefs dictate how successful we are.<\/p>\n
For example, when you look down your appointments list on a busy Saturday and ask, \u201cWhat is the target?\u201d you (and your team) would optimistically say, \u201cto sell a dress to every one of them\u201d<\/p>\n
And what do you expect<\/u> to happen?<\/p>\n
The chances are, some of your sales people will confidently tell you the target, but expect the actual sales to be less than that.\u00a0 And the chance of reaching the target when they expect not to, is very small!<\/p>\n
This is because a person\u2019s expectations have a big effect on their behaviour.\u00a0 If your sales person expects that every bride she meets will buy from her, she\u2019ll start the conversation differently, and manage the whole appointment differently from her colleague who expects that most of the brides are time-wasters and only one in ten actually buys from her.\u00a0 In NLP jargon, this is known as a \u2018limiting belief\u2019.\u00a0 It seems true to the person who holds the belief but others can see how it closes down their opportunities and strangles their results.<\/p>\n
As a business owner, what do you expect from your staff?\u00a0 And, knowing them all as you do, what do you really expect of the individuals you employ?\u00a0 If you expect that they\u2019ll always meet your exacting standards and achieve a formidable rate of conversion, what impact does that have on them?\u00a0 It\u2019s bound to be different from the impact of working for a boss who assumes you\u2019re going to mess up at least once a week and can\u2019t be trusted to close a sale alone.<\/p>\n
If all else fails then THE SMILE GOES ON WITH THE LIPSTICK<\/strong>!<\/p>\n
The bridal business is like show business ie the show must go on!\u00a0 If you don\u2019t believe this then you\u2019ve no business being in this business!\u00a0 If you need a boost then trigger that anchor, put on the lipstick and manage yourself, your team and even the season\u2019s most challenging of Bridezillas and remember \u201cToday is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!\u201d<\/p>\n
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Maria Musgrove-Wethey offers coaching and sales training and you can find out more on www.bridalsalestraining.com.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n